How to Heal Your Inner Child for Fertility

The Importance of Inner Child Healing

In order to improve our chances of becoming pregnant, we need to look at both our mental and physical health. 

Inner Child wounds relate to our earliest experiences. The Inner Child is the part of our consciousness that carries old beliefs, fears and trauma. Unsurprisingly, how you experience emotions during your fertility journey often has roots in childhood emotional experiences.

In this article we explore the roots of deep-seated collective female fears related to fertility and discover ways of healing the Inner Child to heal the body’s natural fertility. Along with techniques like acupuncture and improving our overall health, emotional healing is often an important part of the process. 

Fertility-Limiting Beliefs

One element of the inner child that we can carry to adulthood is a belief system, whether positive or negative.

Think about your inherent beliefs around fertility, such as maternal age, weight, the role of a mother. Where did they come from?

For example, if your mother had you at age 40, you may believe it is totally possible to also have your baby post 40. Whereas a woman of 32 years may believe she is running out of time as her family had given birth for generations in their 20s and have applied a similar pressure to her.

Let’s look at typical dynamics:

Historically girls have often been taught on a conscious or unconscious level to gain respect, love and affection by:

• Being quiet

• Being a good girl

• Achieving (academically or in an expected familial role depending on culture and era)

• Being a people pleaser

• Doing their duty (often with regards to matriarchal figures in the family)

As women, we have been given subliminal messages from an early age that fertility is an expected part of a woman’s role in society.

Furthermore, the desire to have a baby is ingrained within the collective DNA of women. So therefore most women feel this naturally.

On a psychological inner child level, a lot of the pain stems from not only deeply wanting a child but also the perception that society views women who can’t achieve this goal as failures.

I want to state that this is not what I believe.

However, it stems from thousands of years of the suppression of women in order to control the divine feminine power through fear.

Historically, a woman’s role in the family and society was to be fertile and produce many babies, especially boys. In certain cultures this still prevails today. And most women today STILL feel this pressure and fear. And we are taught this from childhood. All of this can put further emotional pressure on us. 

How might this present in families?

• Pressure from in-laws

• Comparison with female siblings or cousins

• Being reminded of advancing age by family and society

• Feeling misunderstood on the journey

Inner Child Wounds 

In addition to limiting beliefs from childhood, most inner child wounding stems from trauma that occurred in childhood.

Common traumas affecting women with fertility issues are:

• Abandonment (loss of a parent)

• Emotional neglect (by a parent or care giver)

• Physical trauma (such as injury, surgery, illness)

• Abuse (physical, sexual, emotional)

• Bullying (criticism, judgement)

The Heart in Chinese Medicine is the organ that processes all of the emotions. It is closely related to the Inner Child.

There is a channel that connects the heart to the uterus. The uterus is part of the sacral chakra. When women suppress emotions, often from childhood, this emotional trauma gets sent down the channel to the uterus and is held there. This can cause physical blockages such as fibroids, polyps, blocked tubes, PCOS and endometriosis. These are all problems I often help address with acupuncture at my clinic in Wolverhampton. 

The Kidney in Chinese medicine also has a direct channel to the uterus. The kidney is part of the root chakra, and relates to the physical body. If you experienced physical pain, injury or illness in childhood these would be processed as a kidney deficiency by your fertility age. If you are a patient at Creation Acupuncture, you’ll know that Kidney deficiency is the most common fertility diagnosis. Kidney Yin deficiency is low AMH and poor egg quality. Kidney Yang deficiency is low progesterone and potential miscarriage. The related emotion is fear. For example, a childhood fear of abandonment could be holding you back from healing your kidney energy.

The final chakra of importance for the inner child is the throat chakra. A blocked throat chakra stems from being ignored, neglected, criticised, compared or judged through childhood.

Throat chakra fertility issues are:

Reproductive immunology issues such as elevated NK cells, blood clotting factors, thyroid antibodies, high TSH and respiratory issues.

Breaking Generational Patterns

If you had a difficult childhood you might ask: why did your parents get to behave as they did and still have children? They didn’t have your fertility problems but they may have caused the trauma.

If you resonate with the above patterns of childhood wounds, it is because you are called to break the generational chords. By healing your inner child, you refuse to take the patterns of behaviour into your relationship with your children.

Because if we don’t do the healing, the patterns of dysfunction may lie dormant.

Inner Child Positivity

It is also important to remember the child part of yourself in a positive way. If there was something missing as part of your childhood, how can you give that back to yourself?

Here are some ideas:

• Keep a childhood photo of yourself. When you feel like using negative self talk, talk to your photo instead. Or address your childhood-self in the photos with positive daily affirmations.

  
  

• Keep the innocent part of you alive that may have grown up too quickly. Perhaps you lost trust in your body, or in adults or you took on responsibility too early or no one took care of you when you needed it. Who were you before you grew up too fast? What did you love doing just because it was fun?

• Whether that was dance, drama, sports, arts and crafts, Lego, playing with dolls, animals, playing in nature, singing: there will be something that you loved to do.

• Begin this again as a hobby. It’s one of the most high vibrational actions you can take on a fertility journey.

How to Heal the Inner Child

This is not a short ‘one time fix all’ solution. But if you make small changes in the following areas and make them a part of your daily routine, you’ll see massive shifts.

1. Inner child healing meditation. Repeat this every month

2. Pay attention to limiting beliefs.

3. Journal and burn the entries when you experience triggers.

4. Work with astrology. You might feel more triggered at a full moon or eclipse where opportunities may come up naturally to have healing conversations.

5. Begin to respond differently to family situations that previously would have triggered you. What lessons have you already learnt? Do you need to set boundaries? Or let down walls? It will be different for each of you.

6. Ensure your Inner Child has fun. This is an important part of emotional healing.  Frequently include fun activities into your weekly routine. These should include something you loved as a child, to honour that part of yourself.

7. Throat chakra Meditation

8. Heart-Uterus Meditation