5 Ways to Deal with Pregnancy Announcements

In my experience as a fertility acupuncturist, pregnancy announcements and introductions of a new baby are the number one trigger for patients struggling to conceive. This is not because of jealousy; nor is it because you don't feel happy for the other person. It’s more emotionally complex than that. And because it’s so common, it is a key milestone for emotional healing on your fertility journey. 

So, let’s get to the root of these types of emotions: 

Do you find it worse if….

• The announcement or meeting with the baby is forced upon you without warning? 

• It is a family member rather than a friend?  

• If you have strained relationships with that person, or they trigger a reaction in you aside from the pregnancy? 

• It makes you feel under pressure? 

It is often the need to be happy for someone, mixed with the pressure to meet expectations of others, and the lack of control at being faced with a situation in which you might feel vulnerable and unprepared. In other words, it’s a complex range of emotions, which makes it even more difficult to deal with.

Perhaps you react well to some pregnancy announcements or baby showers, while other times they trigger you. But why is that? 

Could it be that when the person you are dealing with is kind and understanding, and gives you ample warning; they do not pose a threat, making it easier to prepare yourself? This means you have an element of control over how you will respond. 

And when they don’t…or when they trigger an old wound in you….this is when the resulting feelings are worse? 

This is because primal fear is an underlying factor in fertility. TIt shows up as anxiety when you’re put under pressure or when faced with loss of control and personal power. 

It is because the drive to have babies is part of the DNA of women, passed down through generations. 

Historically, when a female couldn’t conceive a healthy baby, her purpose in society was questioned, leading her to fear for her future and often her life. This was particularly the case when it came to an ability to conceive a male baby. Think back to Tudor England for example, or the one child policy in China. This imbalance of masculine and feminine energy has permeated human society throughout the ages. 

Whether or not you grew up in a household or culture that had positive relationships with fertility, and between men and women, at some level you have carried this DNA and inherent fear. 

It may no longer be a fear of death, However, it is a fear of failure, which relates to the next emotion associated within this dynamic: shame. 

What if you can’t meet society’s expectations of a woman, does that mean you are a failure? 

No it doesn’t. But somehow people reassuring you that you’re worthy, important and that you matter, doesn’t change how you feel inside. 

Because shame, in addition to fear, has been engrained in the collective female consciousness by those in power over centuries, in order to control and to suppress women. There was a time in the history of the planet earth when the divine feminine and the divine masculine were in balance. However, the divine feminine’s power (of fertility, of Mother Earth) came to be feared. And therefore subjugation, oppression, fear and shame were used as methods of control. 

Here are 5 ways to deal with triggers relating to others getting pregnant:

1. See the situation from a higher perspective 

2. Forgive the person 

3. Ask for the lesson and clear it

4. Show gratitude for the challenge

5. Step into your power and use it to manifest 

Let’s explore these in more detail:

1. See the Situation from a Higher Perspective 

There is a spiritual reason for the trigger. Sometimes you need help to release a blockage. If you weren't triggered by the situation, you might not realise that you had to heal it. 

The world we are creating for our children will no longer carry the DNA which passes down generational trauma. The girls of the future will not act from default fear and shame responses if we as women are able to clear this energy before we bring them to the world. If you are one of the souls who chose to go against the norm in order to heal from it, you are very brave indeed. And you deserve your happy ending. 

This may shed some light on the following questions: 

• Why did your cycle get cancelled? 

• Why did implantation fail? 

• Why do you have to have another egg collection? 

To give you more time to clear the generational wounds of the female collective. To help us all work on this together. The current cosmic energies are supporting you with this. With the Libra full moon and Venus and Mars retrogrades there is balancing of the feminine and masculine energies. And with Neptune entering Aries, there is the birth of a new generation.  

2. Forgive the Person 

Forgiveness is a key spiritual lesson. When we forgive, we show unity consciousness rather than separation consciousness. This brings more peace to our interactions and clears the density around the triggering situation. 

When you see every woman as part of the whole, all with generational trauma passed down through their DNA, the same as you, it's easier to forgive. When you see them as having their own inner wounds and healing to do on their path, it's easier to show compassion.  

3. Ask for the Lesson and Clear It

Let’s refer back to the earlier part of this article: how pregnant announcements made you feel. 

Did they make you feel under pressure or anxious due to an inherent fear of failure? 

Or were your feelings related to embarrassment and shame? 

They could be part of the fear and shame DNA passed down generationally by the female line and present in the collective consciousness of females even today. 

Or was it something else? 

Ask for the lesson to be shown to you by the universe or your guides. Then write down everything you feel and burn the paper. 

4. Show Gratitude

Gratitude is scientifically proven to raise our vibration. Studies show that practising gratitude daily can increase happiness and reduce levels of stress and anxiety. When we are grateful for what we already have, we are signalling to the universe that we are vibrating in the energy of abundance. Therefore, due to the Law of Attraction, we naturally attract more things to feel grateful for.  

When we are enlightened enough to thank God or the universe for even the most difficult situations in our lives, we are demonstrating that we have learnt the spiritual lesson. We are then less likely to need the same lesson again and can move on. 

5. Step into your Power and Use it to Manifest

When you step into your divine feminine energy you activate your innate female fertility because this is part of your natural power. When you act from the lower vibrations of the feminine, called shadow feminine, you give away your natural power and move further away from your divine fertility gifts. 

Once you have begun to show gratitude, you can use the triggering situation as a platform to raise you higher. This is called transmutation. Transmuting an energy means to turn one element into something else. It usually refers to turning negative energy into positive energy. For example, using meditation to clear a trigger and transmute the energy from the trigger into the opposite energy. 

In this way we can transmute hate into love; fear into safety; frustration into satisfaction; and shame into personal power. 

You might like to try the following meditations to help with this: 

• Liver Qi Stagnation Meditation 

• Transmutation Meditation 

• Solar Plexus Meditation 

• Forgiveness Meditation 

• Full Moon Meditation 

Remember that healing is progressive. The trigger of pregnancy announcements does tend to show up repeatedly as we progress further along the healing journey. However, whichever stage you are now is exactly where you need to be. You will progress, mainly because you are showing a willingness to go deeper and heal. 

This is often how the healing journey goes:

1. Why is this happening to ME? The element of unfairness = giving away your power. 

2. I understand that this is happening FOR me so that I can heal, with the full permission and collaboration of my higher self = activating your fertility power.

3. THANK YOU that this has happened (again) to show me how far I’ve come on my healing journey. It has shown me how I’ve responded differently this time = gratitude. 

4. This baby announcement shows me that my pregnancy is about to come to fruition = manifestation. 

5. Your own baby announcement = passing the healing to another woman. 

Healing is a hard process so I want to say that I am very proud of all of you who are actively doing this, and showing a willingness to try. I have every confidence that it will bring you your desired outcome! 

If you’re seeking support with fertility in or around Wolverhampton, I offer a range of services at my clinic. As a Fertility Acupuncture Specialist, I offer both acupuncture and support for emotional healing to my valued clients. 

Natalia.